My Street
by slashblack89
Summary: 35 year old ex gangsta Big bird reminisce about his and elmo's old days of being gangsters, the women, the money, and how they took it over in this comediac story.


For the record: I don't own any of these characters. They are owned by sesame workshop. This is a comedy/ drama story I made up using sesame street characters. If you are offended by violence or sex please don't read no further. Enjoy

**My Street**

It was a windy day on Sesame Street. Big Bird was sleep in his nest. Elmo came to visit him. Elmo had 2 kids with him. It was a little girl named Eleanor and a boy named Jim.

"Good morning big bird" Jim said. Big Bird jumped up in surprise. "You scared me muthafucka" Big Bird said "what the fuck are you Bad ass kids doing over here so early anyway? Don't ya'll got school to go to?". "Fuck school" Eleanor said "school is boring". Big Bird shook his head. "Don't say that" He said "school is important. An education is key to success. You don't want to be like me do you? A 35 year old big yellow bird living outside.". "Did you finish school Big Bird?" Eleanor asked "hell no" Big bird said "I was a gangster. I was the baddest muthafucka on sesame street.". "Elmo used to run with Big Bird. We killed all kinds of people" Elmo said. "Tell us" The kids begged. "Ok" Big Bird responded "maybe after I tell you guy the story of my upbringing you'll see what I was talking about. It all started 17 years ago…."

17 years ago…..

An 18 year old Big Bird is walking down the street. He is accompanied by Elmo and Grover. Big Bird went to report to his boss cookie monster about a drug that they did with snuffy. They met Cookie monster at his house. He was munching on cookies. "Boss we got rid of that rock for you" Big Bird said. "Thanks Bird" Cookie Monster said "now get the fuck out of here." "You're welcome" Big Bird said as he, Grover, and Elmo left Cookie monster's house. "Cookie is such a basturd" Grover said "he doesn't appreciate anything that we do for him." "I can make a better boss then his dumb ass" Big Bird said "I should be running sesame street not him. All he ever does is sit on his ass eating cookies". "Elmo likes that idea" Elmo said "Big bird should take sesame street away from Cookie monster". "I am" Big Bird said. Oscar the grouch was nearby. He opened his trash can lid. He listened to the three talking. "The first thing we got to do is cut his money off" Grover said "Let's go burn his coke factory tonight". "Not a bad fuckin idea Grover" Big Bird said. "We'll meet at my house. Tonight at 7. Bring guns." The men parted ways. Oscar closed the lid to his trash can.

Big Bird went to meet up with his girl Zoë. Zoe was a stripper as the neighborhood strip club. "Bird Baby" Zoe said "I happy to see you". "I'm happy to see you too" Big Bird said "daddy needs lovin." the 2 went back to Big Bird's house. Zoe was sucking big bird's dick while he lay back in a chair. "I hope this makes you feel better" Zoe said "I do so much hate it when you are sad." "Aw FUCK!" Big Bird said. Zoe smiled. She loved it when big bird moaned while she blew him.

"Fuck a suck baby" Big Bird said "put that sweet ass up on me." Zoe smiled. She got on top of big bird. She slid his dick into her vagina. The two moaned. Big Bird loved it when Zoe rode him. Zoe began to ride big bird faster. Her titties swung to and fro. Big Bird caught them. He used his feathered hand to run Zoë's nipples between his thumb and index finger. "Oh Bird Baby" Zoë moaned "I love it when you play with my titties while I ride you." "Yeah?" Big Bird said "what about this?" Big Bird grabbed zoe's waist. He began to fuck her hard and deep in her pussy. Zoe went crazy. "I'm not done with you yet" Big Bird said "its time for doggy." Big bird was getting ready to fuck Zoë doggy style. He looked out of his window and seen Ernie coming up to his door step with a shot gun.

"Get down" Big bird told Zoë. Zoe got down. Big Bird grabbed his ak-47 from underneath his bed. He slapped a clip in it and went to confront Ernie. Ernie shot Big Bird's door down. "I know you're here Big Bird" Ernie yelled "come out and talk to me." Big bird dove sideways. He emptied a clip into Ernie. Ernie fell back and fell down Big Bird's steps he died. "Oh my god" Zoë said. "Are you ok baby?" Big Bird asked. "Yes baby" Zoe said "why did Ernie try to come kill you?" Big bird looked down at Ernie's body. He spat on him and turned to Zoë. "Cookie Monster sent him to off me." Zoe began to worry. "Why would cookie monster do that? You, Elmo, and Grover are some of his best workers". Big Bird got mad. "He obviously knows what he has coming to him" Big Bird said. "Somebody tipped him off. I know who it is. I'm going to shoot their dick and balls off with my ak-47". "What's going on here baby" Zoe asked. "I'll tell you later baby" Big Bird said "go to your sister's for a while. Daddy's about to pay somebody a visit." Big bird changed his a-k magazine. He hid it under his trench coat and left.

Oscar was in his trashcan jacking off to some old porn magazines. There was a knock at his garbage can. "Go away basturd" Oscar said "I'm busy." there was another knock on the garbage can. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" Oscar said "I SAID I WAS FUCKING BUSY". The garbage can opened up. It was Big Bird hit Oscar in the face with the back of his gun. He pulled him out of the garbage can and laid him down. "What the fuck do you want" Oscar asked. "You been ratting me out to Cookie monster?" Big Bird asked. "No" Oscar answered. Big Bird shot Oscar in the foot. "FUCKING SHIT" Oscar yelled in pain. "Tell me the truth and I won't kill you" Big Bird said. "I don't know man!" Oscar said. Big bird shot Oscar's leg's up. "AH FUCK!" Oscar said "Ok. It was me. I told cookie monster about you guys plan. Please don't shoot me anymore". Big Bird aimed his gun at Oscar's face. "w-w-what are you doing" Oscar asked "you said you wouldn't sh…." Big bird shot Oscar in the face before he had a chance to finish what he was saying. He then grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket. He called Elmo. "Get ready guys" Big Bird said. We're about to make a move.

Later that night the three of them went to the coke factory. They got their guns out. "Lets go pop some heads" Big bird said. Grover got his flame thrower ready. Elmo had his Gatling gun ready. The 3 busted in the coke factory. They saw telly standing at the door. Telly tried to pull a gun out to shoot at them but big bird and Elmo shot him up. They then began to shoot at the workers in the factory. Bert was in his office getting head from one of his whores while Baby Bear stood by to keep watch. He heard the gun shots. "What the fuck is going on out there" Bert asked "can't a man get his dick sucked in peace". Bert looked at his cameras. He seen Big Bird, Elmo, and Grover shooting everyone and burning everything. "Its that bird basturd" Bert said angrily. "I'll go handle it boss" Baby Bear said. "I'm scared" The Whore told Bert. "Don't worry" Bert said. Baby bear is the best guy for the job. He'll take care of everything.

Big Bird, Elmo, and Grover had finished killing everybody. They burned up millions of pounds of coke. Baby bear snuck. He loaded his Mac 10 and he began to spray bullets at Big Bird, Elmo, and Grover. Big Bird and Elmo jumped behind something to hide. Grover and his flame thrower tank got shot up. The tank exploded. "Grover!" Big Bird yelled. Grover was dead. The fire began to spread. Big bird and Elmo continued to standoff with Baby Bear. Elmo tossed a grenade at Baby Bear. Baby Bear tried to throw it back but the moment he lifted his head into view Elmo shot it. Baby Bear fell back and died. Blood was all over the wall. "That was nice" Big Bird said. "Thanks" Elmo retorted. The two ran to Bert's office. Elmo shot the door down. Bert was behind his desk with his whore. He pushed her towards big bird and Elmo. "Don't shoot me. Shoot the bitch" Bert yelled. The whore was scared. "Please don't shoot me" she said. "Our problems aren't with you" Elmo said. "its just like you to do some cowardly shit like that" Big Bird said "you'd rather let somebody else take a bullet for you then you man up and take what you got coming to you".

The whore hid behind Big Bird and Elmo. "You sent that whack ass Baby Bear to shoot at us" Big Bird said "my close friend Grover got killed cause of you". "Bert don fucked up" Elmo said. "Now its Bert time to die". Bert ran and tried to jump out of the window in his office. Big Bird & Elmo shot him all in the back. They blew his back out. Bert fell and died. The 3 left just as the coke factory was swallowed in flames. "Elmo wants to know what we do now" Elmo said. "I'm going to finish Cookie off" Big Bird said. You get out of her. I don't want to lose 2 best friends in one night. "No way" Elmo said "Elmo is a rider for life. Elmo ain't running away like a bitch". Big Bird smiled. He appreciated the courage that Elmo had. "Ok bro lets go do this" Big Bird said. "How are Big Bird, Elmo, and whore gonna get to cookie monster's building. It's too far from here. "We can steal Bert's limo." The Whore said.

Meanwhile across town Cookie monster was furious. He had received news of what happened to his coke factory. He knew that Big Bird and Elmo were coming to get him. He planned to run to the Bahamas until the heat died down. Elmo drove the limo into the bottom of the building. Big Bird and Elmo jumped out shooting at men who worked in cookie's hired men. They made their way to cookie's office on the top floor. Cookie wasn't there. "Damn it we're too late" Big Bird said. "No Big Bird" Elmo said "listen!" the 2 heard a helicopter. They rushed to the roof to see Cookie monster trying to fly his helicopter. "WHY Bird?" Cookie yelled "why did you do all this? Do you know how much money you fucked me out of? You were my best worker". "I did it for me" Big bird said "you're a un appreciative muthafucka. You're not fit to be a boss so I'm taking over".

Cookie monster got angry. "I'll back" Cookie monster said "you're a dead Bird."Cookie monster flew away in his helicopter. Big Bird and Elmo shot at the helicopter. A bullet hit Cookie monster in the neck. Cookie monster began to bleed a lot. He died behind the controls of his helicopter. The helicopter fell and crashed and exploded. Big Bird and Elmo took deep breaths. "It's finally over." Elmo said "you did it. This is big bird's street now". "Well it's not over yet" Big bird said "we still got a ho to fuck in the limousine." "Oh yeah" Elmo said as he remembered. The two ran to get the whore who they fucked all night long.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY…

"…and that's what happened" Big bird told the kids "now do you see why you guys have to stay in school?" "No" Jim said "fuck school. We hate school". "Yeah" Eleanor said "that was an awesome story. I wanna be a whore when I get older". "Whatever little basturds"Big Bird said "keep skipping school and getting in trouble." "We will. Thanks for the advice" the kids retorted sarcastically as they ran off. "Stupid little basturds" Big Bird said as he lit a joint up. "What does Big Bird wanna do today with Elmo" Elmo asked. "I don't know" Big Bird said "this is my street. We can do what we want. Let's go get some pussy". The 2 walked down the street smoking the joint and laughing.

**THE END **


End file.
